Sometimes at Men’s Health, we get the use of pretty high-end, sweet cars (one of our editors used to be an auto writer). Anyway, this month I got to sit in (I was too afraid to actually drive it) a $350,000 Bentley Mulsanne (it’s back-seat stereo system costs $9,000!). Better yet, I drove home a Mercedes SUV (sticker price, a paltry $94,500). It was an absolute beast with like 500 hp, so powerful that it was, in fact, difficult to keep the car under 95 mph on the Northeast Extension—and, yes, I know how ludicrous that sounds. It was what I was going to tell the State Trooper if I got pulled over—and believe me, if I drove that for 3 days, I would have met a State Trooper. It also seemed to get about 9 mpg. You could almost hear the glug-glug sound over the beefy thrum of the engine.
That didn’t bother Kelly when I brought it home and we drove around in it. Or Carmella, our friend’s dog, who took the wheel. The next day, I turned over the keys and wished it well—only to see it appear next to my car a day later. What’s that they say about what it means when you let something go, only to see it return? Ah, love. Now I just need to find the 100g … not.