A Kelly Sighting in ‘The Wild’

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Kelly left the cozy confines of his room on the fifth floor of CHOP and was photographed by a hunter, who said it appeared the rampaging teenager was foraging for food. Forensic investigators say they found scraps of chicken fingers and New England Clam Chowder. Sounds about right. And much of it wasn’t eaten, which sounds even more dead on. By Wednesday we hope that the warning about his whereabouts and wanderings will need to include Eagleville, Pa.

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