We caught the holiday Panto Aladdin at People’s Light and Theater, the local nonprofit. It’s a blast every year and we loved it. As a bonus, Sarah (Kelly’s girlfriend) joined us. She’s the one on the right.
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Mike Young and his helpers have the basement looking pretty darn good. We’ve moved soem stuff back out into the living area, and Kelly and his girlfriend are watching TV down there tonight, so it must not be THAT bad.
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A month ago, Hurricane Sandy left our basement under about 10 inches of water, and forced us to clean up one of the rooms we’d never really touched after moving in 4-plus years ago. But it’s looking better, and is almost done.
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Coming soon to a mailbox near you.
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Virginia’s family—including Cousin Mary and Aunt Doris—came in from out of state for the holiday. The twist this year (there’s always a twist) was that the we had the holiday turkey dinner on Friday. On Thursday, Virginia promised Kelly Chinese food—except, of course, that, you know, Chinese-Americans celebrate Thanksgiving like every other American and there were no Chinese restaurants open on Thursday. We saw Lincoln on Thursday. Daniel Day-Lewis = amazing. Rest of movie = good, but not amazing. Worth seeing.
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I’ve been listening to John Meecham’s book on the country’s third president and you can’t help but be drawn to the modern comparisons.
I like this from Jefferson’s first inaugural address:
Let us, then, fellow-citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect that, having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which mankind so long bled and suffered, we have yet gained little if we countenance a political intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of as bitter and bloody persecutions.
Jefferson was a guy who believed in a full and unfettered debate, but also one that had an end that wasn’t some sort of political nihilism. He was a guy who had been both in and out of power.
Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have called by different names brethren of the same principle. We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists.
So if you’re interested, it’s Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power (Audible), and well worth the time spent.
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Lincoln was ungodly long and not a whole hell of a lot happened through the middle portion, but, gosh, Daniel Day-Lewis sure was good and, honestly, who besides a Stephen Spielberg makes a movie about passing a Constitutional amendment anyways. Put DD-L in the best actor mix for his portrait of the 16th president, which he nailed—right down to Abe’s shambling gait. And don’t forget Sally Field, who gave a great performance as Mary Todd Lincoln.
The movie certainly appeared to want to speak to us about our bitterly divided government, but I guess I found it cartoonish. And the Democrat congressman who joined the cause of emancipation, by and large, were moved by pretty base reasons. Maybe that’s how it was, but it certainly felt like a grubby path to a noble goal. And perhaps that’s the lesson here, as we approach our Fiscal Cliff.
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(Editor’s note: I was assigned by my church group an unusual assignment: to write my own obituary. I know, most people would write something a bit more sober. Here it is. All of Virginia’s quotes come straight from her. Honestly.)
Kevin Donahue, who lived a life of love, compassion, humor, and integrity, died early this morning at his home in Eagleville, Pa. He was 47.
“I made him a chicken quesadilla last night, we opened a $7 bottle of wine, and afterward I left him alone for a bit and he watched an episode from the second season of ‘24’. He told me that was the best year for it,” said his wife of 20 years, Virginia Kirk. “Our former neighbor, Sandy, stopped by to pick up an item we had borrowed and when Kevin asked how she was, she said he didn’t care and instead was being ‘sincere in the moment,’ like he was with a neighbor who was widowed years ago. He shook his head and agreed. He was a hard guy to fluster.
“Then we went to bed and made loud, passionate love until about 1:30. I hope the kids didn’t hear. That would be, I don’t know, haunting. He must have gone sometime before dawn.”
Mr. Donahue was a journalist, and spent the last five years working for Men’s Health magazine, where he managed production of the Web site. Previously, he’d spent 15 years at the newspapers in Philadelphia. He also worked in northern New Jersey, Delaware, and Maine. In recent years, he worked as an adjunct professor at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Communications.
“It’s hard to believe he’s gone,” said Andrew Daniels, an editor on the Men’s Health Web site. “Just yesterday, we were discussing a study that revealed the typical belly button harbors more than 2,000 types of bacteria. Then someone mentioned that the belly button is an erogenous zone. Kevin just blurted out, ‘Your dirty, sexy belly button. Make that the headline on that story. I dare people not to click on that.’ He could turn a phrase.“
A fitness enthusiast, Mr. Donahue enjoyed the weekly basketball games at work, testing new fitness programs, and long weekend bike rides with his wife. He often said he thought the key to longevity was to keep moving; apparently, he was wrong.
Mr. Donahue identified as a Universalist, and was a member of the Wellsprings Congregation in Chester Springs, Pa., for the past two years, after 15 years at the Thomas Paine Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, in Collegeville, Pa. He was eclectic in his religious leanings, finding wisdom in the writings of Thich Nhat Hahn (“the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth”), John Shelby Spong (“I think that anything that begins to give people a sense of their own worth and dignity is God”), and Yogi Berra (“The future ain’t what it used to be”).
Mr. Donahue was born in Englewood, New Jersey, on Nov. 15, 1965, and grew up in Aberdeen, N.J. He attended St John Vianney High School in Holmdel, NJ, and the University of Delaware, graduating in 1988. He married Virginia Anne Kirk on March 7, 1992, in Dover, Del.
Mr. Donahue leaves behind his wife Virginia and two sons, Peter, 18, and Robert (Kelly), 15, all of Eagleville; his mother, Maureen Donahue, of Aberdeen, NJ; a brother, Christopher Donahue, of Atlantic Highlands, NJ, and a sister, Susanne Underwood, of Tinton Falls, NJ; five nieces and nephews; 812 Twitter followers (he’d appreciate it if his posthumous follower total reached 1,000. His username is @kevdonahue); and a three-year-running streak as coach of the champions of the local high-school rec basketball league. He requests that former team members serve as pallbearers—except Shane Burke; he sometimes had trouble holding on to the ball.
Mr. Donahue loved his family dearly, and his fondest wishes were that his children grow up to be good and loving people and that he and his wife enjoy together the adventure of life after the kids left home. At this point, the best he can hope for is 1 of 2.
“He was very level-headed and at times it could bug the shit out of me—don’t even get me started on his flat affect when I was emotional,” said Ms. Kirk. “But though our approaches differed, we shared a set of values and a perspective. We were a good team and, gosh, I loved him. Did I mention the sex? Incredible.
“Excuse me, but I think I’m gonna cry now.”
Services for Mr. Donahue will be held this Saturday, Nov. 24, at Wellsprings Congregation, with a brief reception afterward at the family’s Eagleville home. Leftover turkey sandwiches will be served, as well as several kinds of beer (Ms. Kirk says it all needs to go or her 18-year-old son will be in to it like stink on a skunk).
Mr. Donahue was a journalist and collector of writings and thoughts. His personal blog included the following two quotes, which would be good items for his tombstone, but it’s unlikely he’ll end up in the ground, as he thought that caskets and cemeteries were pretty inhuman places for one’s body to spend a thousand years. He preferred a cardboard box, maybe one that held a large appliance—a TV, perhaps—and an unmarked spot tucked in to the backyard, near the trees. Anyway, the quotes:
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. — Garrison Keillor
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. — Howard Thurman
Instructions for Kevin’s service
- I’d have it at Wellsprings
- Ken Beldon can officiate
- Kent Matthies gets 10 minutes
- My brother and sister can have all the time they want, but can’t talk about the time Sue scared me and I dropped Chris on his head from the bunk bed.
- I’d like somebody to gather up my 10 best analogies ever
- Anybody can say whatever they want. Just keep it quick. This service should be shorter than it will be. This service needs an editor, and I won’t be around.
- The music. I leave it to Matt Gordon to make the final decisions, but I’d like him to play “What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love & Understanding,” Mark Hart to sing “Orange Sky” by Alexei Murdoch and the Wellsprings band to play “We Are Marching in the Light of God” at the end, but only with the English words. My relatives won’t go for the South African verses.
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Kevin brought his camera and took some pics while wandering around West Philly while with Kelly last weekend. Here are some of the photos. I laid off photos of Kelly, who doesn’t appreciate cameras in his face when he isn’t feeling well.
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I work as an adjunct professor at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Communications. I’ve done it for 2 1/2 years now. In that time, my employer has hired 4 of my students—the most recent, Gerilyn Manago, this past week.
I do not want to sound as if these students aren’t worthy; they are, and for the most part I’m so impressed by the undergrad students and their drive. But here’s my selfish question: what is that worth to the university? I have no false illusions about my teaching skills—I’m adequate on my good days, but it’s not something that I have extensive experience with, and the fact that I usually interact remotely, via Skype, means that there’s a level of intimacy that’s missing.
I acknowledge all that, but … but … I get these kids jobs. How many of their profs do that? Maybe a lot do.
Anyway, as we near the end of Semester #5, and a strange semester it’s been, this is what I wonder: would I be better getting paid for delivering employment results? And if so, what’s a job for a colleage graduate (or grad student) worth to a prestigious university?
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Ben Affleck can be pretty unbearable, but he can also dial up a decent movie. And Argo is just that—interesting, taut, and fun, as you know walking in to the theater that it all ends up alright. Honestly, though, he should never play a guy named Tony Mendez again. Affleck’s about as ethnic as Pat’s Steaks.
That said, I enjoyed it, and I never thought I’d like to be reminded of the Iranian hostage crisis for even 10 seconds, never mind 2 hours.
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We’re home after a 4-day stay at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Kelly had been struggling with his IBD since we switched medicines this summer (he had developed an allergy to the medicine that had served him well for two year, Remicade, and had switched to another, Humira), and he slipped into a flare in October.
He received a big dose of intravenous steroids (prednisone) while in CHOP, and that seemed to do the trick over the weekend. On Monday, we came up with a maintenance plan going forward, and he was discharged by 5 pm.
It was an arduous span of days, but we are privileged to have the talented and caring folks at CHOP to help out (a special shout-out to Dr. Grossman, who guided the treatment) and all those who have lent their thoughts and prayers over the past 5 days. Whether we are in His grip—or Hers, or all of ours—we have felt it and are grateful.
Kelly goes back to school tomorrow and we’re hopeful things will become blessedly normal for the foreseeable future. Again, thanks for everyone’s best wishes. We’ll keep on keepin’ on.
kevdonahue 