kevdonahue

Easter 2014

April 21, 2014

Spring has sprung. Change is in the air. The grass is greening, the cherry trees are flowering. And my 16-year-old nephew Ryan walked into the house Saturday with the car keys in his hand. He had driven the family minivan part of the way from Maryland to Pa.

Yes, change is in the air. And his dad didn’t look too much worse for the wear.

The Kirks joined us for the Easter weekend, as did our friend Kris, who lives in Strasbourg, France. Hadn’t seen her in 3+ years, and that’s too long. Virginia’s friend Eileen, down from Syracuse, also stopped by Saturday. It was a pretty good day, except for the fact I had a persistent, nasty headache and general achiness that grew worse as the day progressed and sent me to bed. As annoying as it was, it did remind me that plenty of people live with this kind of pain and discomfort much of the time. Thankfully, it disappeared overnight.

We had a very nice Sunday. A good morning at Wellsprings Congregation, a beautiful afternoon (that allowed for the photos below), a fine dinner—and, sadly, a long ride home for the Kirks, though with the extra traffic and fading light, Ryan wasn’t behind the wheel this time.

Prom #1

April 13, 2014

Kelly attended his FIRST prom of the spring, with his friend Vaughn, who invited him to the Agnes Irwin High School prom. He and Vaughn made a stunning couple, though everyone tried to triage his bowtie (next time, kid, buy one that comes pre-tied).

And yes, because Kelly is attending two proms as a junior (and at least one as a senior, assuming he doesn’t end up in prison), we made the decision to buy him a tux. Actually, the math of it made the decision; it’s way cheaper. The bonus is that he and Pete are about the same size, so if you need either guy to be a best man in a wedding, call now. Pete might be interning at a casino in Valley Forge this summer, and I think he should wear the tux to work each night. Tell me he won’t make an impression. Like 007. “Donahue, Peter Donahue.”

But enough about Pete. It’s not his weekend. It was Kelly’s, though he ended up with a migraine during the prom and Kevin had to go pick him up. He got some rest and everything was fine Sunday—Vaughn managed to have fun even though her date bailed.

Kelly’s Methacton prom is less than 2 weeks out. Hopefully, all goes off well—or we’ll be puttign the tuxedo on eBay.

Loss and Found

April 12, 2014

This has been a week about loss.

Went to Phillies game last Wednesday night with friends and it had the feeling of a hangover, of waking up to find the girl you found so fascinating the night before isn’t how you remembered, that the window has shut on the Good Times. Less than 20,000 unenthusiastic fans. The ballpark felt like a flat tire. The team, about the same. Spent.

Also, Chuck Stone died, in an assisted care facility in North Carolina. Chuck was my first mentor, the professor I respected (heck, it was closer to awe) who convinced me that I could write and that I could master the art of asking questions (though being married to the best interviewer I know often makes me feel pretty junior varsity when it comes to asking questions‚ and I’m a guy who actually ASKS QUESTIONS.). Chuck had this look—like the Grinch’s upbeat brother. He always wore a bow tie, a Brooks Brother suit, and a perpetual gleam in his eye. When I was editor of the student paper at the University of Delaware, I had a weekly Friday lunch with Chuck. He told me how to make stories better, he told me stories about his time in the company of Martin Luther King, his time as chief of staff to Rep. Adam Clayton Powell of New York (oh my!), and asked me about my life. What a gift.

Chuck, at a news conference in 1981 after he negotiated the end to a prison riot at Graterford Penitentiary, outside Philadelphia. Who else looks this dapper in a hostage negotiation?

Chuck loved smart and irreverent. And I loved Chuck. His wit and wisdom resides with me still, though I haven’t seen him in decades, and realizing I won’t ever see him again is weighing on me this week.

Thankfully, those memories—and those from 2008-10—all reside in me. I can access them. And I can be awake to the possibility of new good times, new wisdom, new revelation. Maybe it’s not about loss after all.

My Favorite Commercial This Year

March 31, 2014

And Still the King …

March 11, 2014

Not sure how exactly it happened, but I appear to be growing in my 40s. I was 5-11 in college.

That’s bad news for Kelly, who was ecstatic when during a checkup at CHOP he clocked in at 6-0, and was claiming he finally had proof he was taller than me. This has been a recurring theme for about a year, ever since a growth spurt put him thisclose to passing me by.

But I slipped off my shoes, placed my heels firmly on the floor, and the nurse (that’s her in the background) marked me at … wait for it … 6-0 1/8.

Ah, victory is sweet.

Kelly's First Suit

March 9, 2014

Kelly's First Suit

Kelly and Peter have been agitating for more formal clothing for a matter of months—Peter because he hopes to be working/interning soon, Kelly because he watches the cable show “Suits” and thinks Meghan Markle might give him the time of day if he was dressed better (speculation) . So we went to the King of Prussia Mall Saturday and found Kelly a suit (not the one in this photo, ultimately). Peter had gone by Friday and picked one out (thank god for the Jos. A. Bank 3-suits-for-the-price-of-1 sale!), so once the alterations are in, family can look forward to seeing the boys looking better at the Big Events.

Lunch with Roz and Mary

March 9, 2014

We’ve been trying for a while to see Virginia’s cousin Mary, but life basically remained in the way—so it was very nice to manage to see Mary and Rosalie today. We split the distance to be traveled and grabbed lunch in Havre de Grace, Maryland, on the Susquehanna River, at the Tidewater Grille. It was a bright, clear—if still a bit chilly—day, and we really enjoyed the chance to check in. We discussed making this an annual trip. That seems too long.

Kelly's Birthday

February 18, 2014

Kelly turned 17 on Friday and we took him to Philly on Monday to celebrate, picking up Pete and going to a nearby restaurant, Route 6, for dinner. It was a very nice dinner and it was nice to see Pete, who has been at Temple for the past month.

Best of all, Kelly has been battling a flare for about the last 6 weeks, and in the past week has made significant progress. For us, this is a huge deal, because Kelly has never had a flare that didn’t require being hospitalized to resolve. If he can start to manage his recovery without a trip to CHOP, well, that would be huge. And it looks like that is happening. We’re not all the way out of the woods, but Kelly’s energy is getting better, he’s back in school, and the other markers of illness are in retreat. We are very, very grateful.

And we had a very good time with Pete, who filled us in on his new jobs with a realty management company and shoveling around campus when the snow falls (which has been frequent this winter). He also made clear his disinterest in a relationship, of any form. He is funny.

Ice Storm 2014

February 18, 2014

After Monday’s snow, Wednesday brought the tink-tinkling of sound. By 7:30 am, we lost power, and a smallish tree fell across our driveway. By 11 am, our backup power to the sump pumps had given out and the water was coming in to the basement. Kelly, and a cadre of his friends, pitched in to a bailing brigade, but it wasn’t nearly enough. The water ended up about 5 inches high.

Thankfully, at about 3:30, the power came back on, and the basement emptied in about 90 minutes. All things considered, it was better than others we know, especially in Worcester Twp. and Chester County, who lost power for 4-5 days. But it wasn’t fun.

We’ve cleaned and mopped and disinfected as bet we can. We’ll see if we can avoid having to replace all the wallboard again. And we’re investigating a natural gas-powered generator to avoid another power outage-related flood in the basement.

What Happened to the Commons?

February 17, 2014

I finished up the third season of Homeland on Friday—and immediately realized the only person I could talk about it with was my wife. Because we had watched it together, so we were at the same point in the series.

And the truth is, nobody these days is ever at the same point in a TV series. In fact, nobody does anything at the same time anymore.

Used to be, when a big series ended, say M*A*S*H, everybody watched the finale. In fact, everybody watched all the time. I could show up at school Wednesday and talk about Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Three’s Company and Soap without fear that I was spilling the beans. There was only “real time.”

Seems to me that ended with the final episode of Seinfeld. Maybe that finale sucked so bad that it killed the entire idea of everyone watching at the same time. It was pretty bad. Jail? Really?!?

But now, there are no shows that everyone watches at the same time. And TV networks, the kings of “let’s watch together,” are left with a grab bag of sports programming and a fledgling business of creating “live” events, like the recent Sound of Music, starring Carrie Underwood. That’s what comes next: live events, shared via network stations. Excuse me if I don’t sound very enthused.

It seems to me a part of a larger isolation in American society. In a world where everyone has a customized plan, it’s hard to find points of commonality with others. Maybe we always were all so different; I just never noticed until a decade ago. Now, the gulf seems hard to bridge. Maybe we could binge-watch Breaking Bad together. You’ve already seen the first two seasons? Oh. Never mind.

Snow Days

February 4, 2014

The snow just keeps coming this winter. Monday ended up a true snow day—no school, no work. Everybody stayed home till about 6 pm. Virginia and I shoveled off a load of snow from the driveway, and the plow didn’t come through till about 10 pm.

Tuesday the skies cleared and it was back to work.

Wednesday is expected to see another storm. And another this weekend. Missing Haiti!

Back from Haiti

February 2, 2014

Kelly and I spent a week in Haiti. I can’t say it’s life-transforming—it’s simply too early—I can say it opened my eyes and made me question the rather thoughtless abundance of my existence. What do I need? What do I merely want? What could give up?